Wow its just 1 day before 2009 already! We had a great Christmas but I'm very much looking forward to a new year! Its been a busy, hectic year for me with a few bumps along the way and I'm ready to leave 2008 behind. There's going to be some big thing happening just after the new year. The first is a new redesign for HauntedHouse.com which I'm currently working on. Their's big doings going on with Transworld including 2 Haunt Tours that Rogues Hollow will be sponsoring. We just have a lot of stuff still developing so its going to be very exciting year:)
Its Christmas eve and its time to conclude my Christmas horror films series here. We end on the best Christmas Horror film ever, Black Christmas. Directed by Bob Clark, who would later go on to make another Christmas classic called A Christmas Story, Black Christmas is a suspensful horror that really started the slasher movies even though it was filmed years before Halloween.
The story is a very well written and suspenseful one that's something of a mystery as well. It starts out as your basic slasher flick, a sorority of girls enjoying the holidays. A crazed killer hiding in their house and lots of disturbing prank phone calls. The killer is never seen. He's shot much like that of a killer from giallo films in the first person so we only ever see his hands or parts of his body. As you can imagine the girls get picked off one by one finally only leaving the heroine played by the beautiful Olivia Hussey who suspects the killer is actually her boyfriend. There's a wonderful subplot about Hussey's character being pregnant and she wants to abort it. Her boyfriend is pissed about it and we're led to believe he's stalking the house and making the disturbing phone calls. When the local detective, played by the always great John Saxon, determines that the calls are coming from inside the house there's a big showdown between the cops, our heroine and her boyfriend who ends up being at the house at the wrong time. But everyone thinks they have their killer and they leave the shocked Olivia Hussey locked up in the house to rest. Of course she's not alone in the house. The killer is still inside.
Black Christmas is the real proto slasher film. this movie, while short on gore, is high on suspense. Even though the story takes place over a few days the suspense still mounts and your kept guessing as to who the killer is. Its clear how this movie influenced John Carpenter who would go on to direct Halloween 4 years later. Bob Clark tells the story that Carpenter came to him after seeing Black Christmas and asked him how he would do a sequel if he did one. Clark said he would have the killer come home on Halloween night. Carpenter of course went on to make a movie about a killer who comes home on Halloween night. Bob Clark never thought that Carpenter ripped off his idea but its clear how he and his movie truly helped to make Halloween the classic slasher film that it is.
A couple years ago Hollywood tried remaking Black Christmas with very very mixed results. The movie has absolutely no suspense or mystery as to who the killer is. It delves into a new backstory for the killer which is way over the top. There's buckets of blood, 1 dimensional characters and the abortion subplot has been eliminated for a one about a guy who put his sex tape online with one of the girls in the house. The only improvement made in the remake was that it looked very good. The set design, directing, & production is very clean and pretty. However the story is just a shadow of the original.
For Christmas there's nothing like the original 1974 proto-slasher Black Christmas. Director Bob Clark also gave us A Christmas Story some years later which is still a classic Christmas flick that get around the clock play on TBS each year. Unfortunately Bob and his son were killed in a car accident by a drunk driver about a year ago. They had been working on a film and were returning home late.
While Bob may be gone his many films will live on forever. I know I'll be spending Christmas eve with Black Christmas and a Christmas Story every year!
Christmas Horror Movies: Silent Night, Deadly Night
Boy this was the movie that had a lot of parents pissed off in 1984. Before the film even came out it came under fire for its tv spots and the poster which depicted Santa going down the chimney with an Axe his his hand. As far as Christmas Horror films go this ones pretty decent. The concept is that as a boy named Billy and his family are visiting his grandpa at a retirement home. Grandpa seems non-responsive to the world around him until he's left alone with Billy and then he goes ape shit crazy ranting about how Christmas is the scariest night of the year because Santa is coming to punish the bad kids. Understandably worried now about seeing Santa the family leaves to go home and comes across a broken down car in the road driven by a man in a Santa suit. Of course this is the same Santa that just finished robbing a liquor store and killing the sales clerk. Billy starts to freak out telling his parents to drive on but they don't and Santa kills his parents while Billy runs away and hides in the bushes watching.
Fast forward to years later and Billy is living in a orphanage and still terrified of Santa. It doesn't help that the Mother Superior tries forcing him to sit on Santa's Lap or that he's witness to the Mother Superior beating two kids for having sex. The filmmakers at least make an attempt to make the killing spree he goes on later in life seem plausible. Seeing your parents killed by Santa seems a lot more traumatic than seeing Santa performing oral sex on your mom like the killer in Christmas Evil.
Billy gets older and finds a job at a local toy store and everything seems perfect. In a bad 80's montage we see Billy stocking shelves, cleaning up, helping little kids reach things, while a bad 80's "happy song" plays. However Christmas finally comes to the store and Billy is asked to play Santa for the kids. He reluctantly does it and tells the kids that if they're not good he's going to punish them.
Christmas Eve arrives and the store closes for a little Christmas party. Billy, still dressed as Santa, see's the girl he's had a crush on get attacked by one of his co-workers and he snaps. He kills everyone that works at the store and heads out on the town. We're given some decent creative kills here Billy does decapitations, antler impalings, and bludgonings, All the while screaming "NAUGHTY". Christmas morning Billy heads back to the orphanage to kill Mother Superior but is stopped by a local detective before he can finish the job. The ending leaves a lot to be desired and there could have been some more killings in there too but its still pretty good.
Silent Night, Deadly Night has really become something of a classic Christmas horror movie even with all its failings. Watching it today I wonder if this is where Rob Zombie based his concept of explaining why Michael Myers becomes a psychopath in his remake of Halloween.
Silent Night Deadly Night was followed up by several sequels. The second one is only worth watching for its laughs. I'm really on the fence as to whether it was intentional or not but Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is hilarious. It features Billy's little brother Ricky as the killer. The actor playing him is so over the top with the character that its almost bizarre. Every line that comes out of his mouth sounds sarcastic and condescending. He goes on a killing spree while he's out on a walk with his girlfriend and ends up killing several people just walking outside their houses. You may have seen a clip from this on YouTube which I've posted just below which has to be seen to be believed. The other sequels are pretty much crap but Silent Night, Deadly Night is a pretty decent 80's slasher film and one that I wouldn't mind seeing remade today.
Now I present to you Garbage Day from Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
Another addition to our alternative holiday movie viewing! Don't Open Til' Christmas falls into the "Its so bad its good" category. This ridiculously cheesy British Production features a serial killer that only kills Santa's. The dialogue is horrendously bad. The opening scene finds 2 lovers making out in a car when they notice that there's a heavy breathing lunatic watching them the man gets upset to which his woman says "oh don't worry about him:" Apparently she's an exhibitionist. On top of that we have really awful breaks in logic. Our Leading lady Kate's father is killed at a Christmas party. The next day her boyfriend takes her to a friends place trying to get her to pose for nude photos and maybe some lesbian action with another model! She's going along with it until she sees a Santa suit and is reminded that her father died the day previous. She leaves but the boyfriend, who's also a suspect, sticks around for a little action with the model. Talk about a sensitive guy!
After 3 Santa killings the cops are still trying to figure out the pattern. No kidding! One of them says: "do you think we have a psycho on our hands?" to when the lead inspector replies "early to find a pattern." Right so the fact that all of them were Santa's isn't a pattern? Priceless!
The storyline gets convoluted with the killer trying to sway the investigation and indicate the lead inspector played by the Director Edmund Perdom who is just awful but in a hilarious way. When we do find out why the killer is psycho we discover he's another child traumatized by seeing his dad, dressed as Santa, having sex at a party. What is it about sex that seems to drive kids to grow up to be killers?
Make no mistake that this movie is bad, really really bad. But the dialogue, lack of logic and bizarreness of it makes it worth watching. It even has a horrible soundtrack complete with bad disco music and lots of shaky camera work. Don't Open til Christmas is Fantastic!
If your not watching Supernatural then your missing the best Genre TV series since the X-Files during its prime. The series started out with the "monster of the week" type formula with 2 brothers out searching for their missing father while encountering supernatural beings, ghosts, demons and so on. I really liked the series from the beginning. The Brothers Sam and Dean seem like people you know. Just average likable guys that are thrown into strange situations each week. The show is scary, funny and at times even poignant and touching.
Season 3, in case you missed it really took the show to new places and expanded the universe. Much like The X-Files during its 3rd and 4th seasons the series is really finding its stride and creating a mythology that sucks you in and keeps you there. Season 4 is basically setting up a war between heaven and hell with angels and demons on earth trying to sway the results in their favor. Sam and Dean are still right in the middle of it. Dean spent last summer in Hell while Sam honed his skills at exorcising demons with his mind with the help of a renegade demon named Ruby. Which is creating a very interesting team that's supposed to save the world.
The series will be returning Jan. 15th 2009 with new episodes and frankly I can't wait. If you are missing this show or think its kids stuff since its on the CW then you doing yourself a disservice. I originally thought it was going to be another silly series like Buffy or Charmed when it started but was I ever wrong. Supernatural is a dark, scary and funny ride that I look forward to each week.
Continuing in my countdown of Christmas Horror films we come to Christmas Evil or also known as Better Watch Out. This little film was released in 1980 by Lloyd Kaufman and Troma Films so you pretty much can guess your not in for the highest level of film entertainment. The film follows Harry who when he was the fragile age of eight saw his mother getting oral sex from Santa Claus. Somehow this really screwed up Harry's little mind and he grows up being obsessed with Santa and Christmas. He wears Christmas Pajamas to bed as an adult and keeps his apartment decked out for the yuletide year round. Not surprisingly Harry also works for a Toy company where he's apparently managed to appear competent enough to get promoted to a management level. In his spare time Harry checks up on neighborhood kids to make sure they are being good. He spies on them from his rooftop and makes a list, checking it many times over. Apparently the parents are oblivious to this creepy single middle-aged man's fascination with their kids. Harry catches one boy reading Penthouse in his room and he practically has a conniption fit getting to his list to record his sighting.
Harry is mocked by his coworkers over his overexcited obsession with making quality toys as opposed to the really crappy toys his company makes. I marvel how someone who is so clearly "off his rocker" can manage to hold down a job let alone ascend to a level of management yet, Harry has. After finding one of his coworkers making fun of him he runs home like a little kid and makes the leap to full bat-shit crazy. He decorates his creepy rapist van like a Christmas sleigh then goes on to spy further on the neighbor kids and hiding in the bushes. Harry can't even get any respect from his younger brother who has a normal life with a couple kids and a house in the suburbs. The brother has really great dialogue like: "when I think about how lame he is I just can't help but get mad."
When the big night finally comes Harry dresses up in his elaborate Santa suit and hits the town delivering toys to the good boys and girls in his neighborhood. He visits the home of the coworker that made fun of him and smothers him in his sleep. He attacks a group of midnight mass-er's leaving church, killing a couple. But he also does some good things like bringing toys to an orphanage whilst creepily practicing his Santa voice and gets down at a Christmas party. The best part about the Christmas party scene is when he tells the kids they better be good or he's going to bring them something horrible. Apparently if you are a 10 year old reading Penthouse magazine that means Harry will hide in your bushes with mud on his face and try to scare you straight.
After all the carnage Harry tries hiding out but his little killing spree is all over the news and everyone is looking for him. After nearly being hunted down by his neighbors Harry runs to his brother's house to escape. However his ol' bro isn't too understanding of what he's done. A really lame car chase ensues and Harry ends up driving off a bridge that looks more like a little ditch and supposedly is dead. Lucky us that Christmas Evil didn't do well enough to warrant a sequel.
Christmas Evil really takes itself too seriously to make it fun and there's very little blood so there's really nothing here for gore hounds either. Visually the film looks really rough and dated. I'd say skip this one unless you're a completist when it comes to Holiday horror. There's really not much here to like except for the occasional unintentional humor of bad acting and storytelling.
For Horror and Halloween addicts like myself, Christmas always comes too fast after October and dominates everything. You can't go outside without being bombarded by Christmas lights and cheerful holiday melodies. TV is no help with all its holiday programming taking over before the Thanksgiving Turkey even comes out of the oven. If your like me all this good cheer can get old and you need some alternative holiday viewing. To help I've decided to put together some reviews of my favorite holiday horror films to chase away the Christmas blues. First up is on my list is Gremlins!
Having not seen Gremlins since I was a kid I had kinda forgotten that the movie takes place on Christmas eve. For the uninitiated Gremlins is about, well gremlins. They start out cute and furry but if you don't follow the rules they can get ugly real fast. The rules are just about one the most poorly thought out plot devices I've seen in a movie but hey it was the 80's man. Rule number one, they don't like bright light. Rule Number 2, don't get them wet. I should mention that if you do get them wet they spontaneously and instantly reproduce! I think there's probably a lot of loopholes to this rule. What if they dribble some soda out of their mouth? How do they clean themselves if they can't get wet? Will their own saliva result in a reproductive orgy? If that wasn't dumb enough the 3rd rule takes the cake: Don't feed them after midnight. How does the biological system of a Gremlin's body know its after midnight or not? And since the the gremlins originated from China does that mean you have to account for the time in China or do they adjust based on the time zone?
Moving on. Randall Peltzer, a hack inventor, decides to buy his son Billy a gift for Christmas while in China. The gift is a cute little animal called a mogwai. The old man who owns the mogwai doesn't want to sell it to him but the old mans grandson sneaks out with the little critter and sells it to Randall. Reciting the 3 inane warnings Randall goes on his way with his new pet. All starts out well when he returns home and everyone loves the new little pet which they name Gizmo. But they break the first rule and get him wet which results in a bunch of little babies popping out of his back that subsequently grow to the same size as Gizmo in just seconds. Not only that but they're intelligent and can speak bits of English in cute ways almost immediately.
The new batch of Mogwai are a devious bunch. Let by the mysterious mohawked one name Stripe they plot to fool Billy into feeding them after midnight. Which he does which results in them becoming reptilian-like Gremlins. Billy's Kill happy mother manages to wipe out all the gremlin except for that clever and devious Spike, who escapes and heads straight to the YMCA to hatch up some friends. The army of Gremlins basically massacres most of the town in an orgy of Christmas violence.
Billy and the very very hot Pheobe Cates manage to blow up all the Gremlins while they watch Snow White at the local cineplex. However once again Stripe escapes and manages to cause even more havoc at a local department store where Gizmo gets to shine and save the day finally wiping out Stripe once and for all.
Somehow Billy and his family are never held accountable for having a pet that multiplies, turns vicious and murders half the townspeople in one night. In fact even when the old man returns to get Gizmo back he seems nonchalant about the carnage and is more upset that Gizmo has been taught to watch TV. Talk about priorities!
For all the ridiculousness of this movie and its concept it was still a great movie when I was a kid. It scared the crap out of me and made me want my own Gizmo bad. In fact I had a Gizmo doll for a long time after I saw the movie. Looking at it today it hasn't aged to well and the concept, which was dumb before, seems even worse now. But its still a fun movie and good if your looking for some alternative holiday viewing.
Last summer the X-Files returned with a new film after 7 years and the general consensus from the critics was that the film was pretty much crap. I was so disappointed with the reviews that I skipped the movie and instead went to see the Dark Knight. Now a few months later I've picked up the film on DVD and finally got the chance to make my own judgment and my take isn't nearly as harsh.
The film picks up some time after the end of the series with Mulder pretty much living in exile, since he's wanted by the FBI, and Scully working for a catholic hospital. Scully, as any fan of the show should know, has always been wrestling with her faith over science and at times that made for thought provoking episodes and at its worse it put me to sleep. Here she still seems to be struggling with it while Mulder spends his days cutting out newspaper articles related to the paranormal and posting them all over his office.
Mulder however gets a chance to clear his name and start fresh when a FBI agent goes missing. The current "spooky" girl, agent Dakota (Amanda Peet) at the FBI calls him in for his perspective on the case and on the lone lead, a pedophile priest psychic named Father Joe played by the always great Billy Connelly. Dakota's partner played by a very straight Xzibit really seems like a tacked on character. He and Dakota really are never fully developed and never add much to the proceedings other than being the catalyst that gets Mulder and Scully into the case.
Father Joe leads the agents to body parts frozen in the snow and Mulder gets caught up in fully believing that this man is seeing these things in his head and has no connection to the crimes. Meanwhile everyone else is more than skeptical. Its basically the typical Mulder situation of he's the only one who wants to believe. Scully struggles with accepting Father Joe as a messenger of God when he's also hurt many children. There's a lot boiling under the surface here but it's nothing that we haven't seen explored in the series before.
The conclusion, while interesting, is never really explained well enough to make it have an impact so the mystery seems rushed and wrapped up before your sure of what really happened. Skinner shows up, apparently just to make fans happy, and helps Scully search for Mulder. While it was nice seeing them together again it really felt unnecessary in regards to the story.
Overall the X-files: I want to believe feels like an average episode of the series late in the run. It brings up some interesting ideas and really does a decent job of expanding on the relationship between Mulder and Scully a little but it never really delivers the goods. The film seem like it really is intended for fans and not new comers to the series.
I was never a fan of the episodes where Scully struggles with her faith and I think the same can be said for most watchers of the show. However devoted fans will find a lot here to like and get from the dynamic of both characters fighting with their beliefs.
Visually the film looks good but again nothing spectacular. Filmed during the winter in Vancouver, Director Chris Carter does take advantage of making the locations look good and giving it that gloom that the series had the first 5 seasons. I can see why this film didn't review well. It really does very little to expand on the series and the story is small and really not given the films focus. This feels like more of a stepping stone to a larger story. Almost like we're being set up for another movie and this was just the obligatory filler to explain what's been happening with our heroes since the series ended.
Unfortunately this film bombed at the box office so I'm not too hopeful that we'll see a proper sequel. However, Frank Spotnitz, co-writer of the film, has already said that there's talk of doing another that would address the big alien colonization thread from the series. I'd be very surprised if this actually happens considering the audience for these movies has shrunk considerably. I lost interest in the show when David Duchovny left and Robert Patrick came in. I didn't even watch seasons 8 & 9 until last year and then I pretty much hated them. The series really was run into the ground in the end and the fans were screwed. I'm not sure if it can be repaired by any film at this point. While I'd like to see an alien colonization movie I just don't see it happening. As sad as it is to say I think this film pretty much closes the book on the X-Files until we get the remake in 10 more years.
